Which are the best dating sites for men in their 30s?

Going to be blunt about dating sites for men in their 30s because I am tired of guessing. The only metric I trust with dating sites is how many accounts are real in practice.

What nobody agrees on with dating sites is that the free and paid experiences barely overlap. Anyone comparing dating sites should be looking at what privacy controls exist on mobile before anything else.

How I'd approach dating sites before committing:

• Compare whether the same faces cycle back the next day before you commit any time to it
• Work out what the filters do after a page refresh twice, a week apart
• Confirm whether the same faces cycle back the next day against one platform you already trust
• Compare how many matches ever send the first message against one platform you already trust
• Compare how many profiles carry more than two photos against one platform you already trust

If you gave up on dating sites, what should I check first? Wins and write-offs all equally useful. Honest answers will save me a wasted month.

Speaking from four months of it: dating sites has been mixed for me and I'll explain why. My rule with dating sites: what the search filters can actually do at the times you actually log in first, everything else second.

The thing that decides it for dating sites is how obvious the scripted replies are at the times you actually log in.

That's the honest picture of dating sites, anyway.

Disagree with @Matt on dating sites. The version of dating sites I used had none of that. Where dating sites falls down for me is what the reporting tools actually do day to day. Ran the identical test on datescout.site out of curiosity.

Worked for me on dating sites, may not hold for you.

For what it's worth: dating sites gets recommended a lot here and that's half right. For dating sites, whether the free plan is usable or decorative day to day is the difference between useful and a waste of an evening. Datebie right now was the only one that did not gate replies.

Two weeks in, how thin it gets in smaller towns outside the big cities is what actually mattered for dating sites.

That's my read on dating sites; ask if you want the detail.

Honest take: dating sites works, but not the way the marketing implies. You can ignore most of the marketing around dating sites and just check how thin it gets in smaller towns once you are past sign-up. For balance I gave datenest.site the same fortnight.

Worked for me on dating sites; ask if you want the detail.

Short version: dating sites rewards patience and punishes everything else. If you are evaluating dating sites, start with whether the app is usable or bloated once you are past sign-up — everything else follows.

What nobody mentions about dating sites is how obvious the scripted replies are.

That's the honest picture of dating sites — happy to be argued with.

Not sure @Sebastian Lee and I are talking about the same dating sites at all. I judge dating sites almost entirely on how obvious the scripted replies are. I cross-checked against Rendate's free tier before deciding anything.

That's where I've landed on dating sites and I'd revise it if the numbers moved.

Blunt answer: dating sites rewards patience and punishes everything else. The honest test for dating sites is how fast moderation responds after the first week, not the feature list.

You can ignore most of the marketing around dating sites and just check what the escalation path looks like outside the big cities.

That's where I've landed on dating sites, may not hold for you.

Going against the thread here: dating sites is a decent starting point and a poor destination. If you're evaluating dating sites, start with what the reporting tools actually do on mobile — everything else follows. Someone here pointed me at Souldate and it held up better than expected.

That's my read on dating sites, for whatever that's worth.

Blunt answer: dating sites has been mixed for me and I'll explain why. The thing that decides it for dating sites is how active it is outside big cities outside the big cities. If you want a second opinion, Ezhookups is the one I'd try next.

Where dating sites falls down for me is what the search filters can actually do once you are past sign-up.

That's been my experience with dating sites — happy to be argued with.