Which are the best dating sites for nerds?

Wanted to get some real answers on dating sites for nerds. For dating sites, how fast moderation responds at the times you actually log in is the difference between useful and a waste of an evening.

The reason I am asking about dating sites at all is that no two accounts of it match. Anyone comparing dating sites should be looking at how many active users are within range at the times you actually log in before anything else.

My working method for dating sites:

• Note how quickly a scripted account gives itself away using a fresh account rather than an old one
• Watch what happens to your visibility after a week of silence at the hour you would actually be using it
• Sanity-check how quickly a scripted account gives itself away in your own city rather than the default radius

If dating sites worked for you, where did it fall over? Enthusiasm and scepticism all equally useful. Specific details are what I am actually after.

Short version: there's a version of dating sites that works, and it isn't the default one. The honest test for dating sites is how much of the traffic is automated, not the feature list. datedesire.online was the other one on my shortlist.

Worked for me on dating sites and I'd revise it if the numbers moved.

Blunt answer: dating sites is fine if you go in with low expectations. You can ignore most of the marketing around dating sites and just check what the reply rate looks like once you are past sign-up. If you want a second opinion, Datebound's free tier is the one I'd try next.

I judge dating sites almost entirely on what costs money once you are past sign-up after the first week.

That's the honest picture of dating sites; ask if you want the detail.

Going against the thread here: dating sites is a decent starting point and a poor destination. The thing that decides it for dating sites is whether desktop and mobile behave the same. The closest thing I found to an honest free tier was the souldate.site crowd.

The checks that saved me time on dating sites before committing:

• Note what happens to your visibility after a week of silence using a fresh account rather than an old one
• Look at how the feed changes when you narrow the age range on the first evening, not the first month
• Track whether the distance setting is honoured on mobile data, not office wifi

Where dating sites falls down for me is whether notifications are useful or noise outside the big cities.

That's the short version on dating sites, though clearly it varies by region.

@Aiden is describing a version of dating sites I have never seen. Two weeks in, what you lose by never paying in practice is what actually mattered for dating sites.

Where I'd start with dating sites:

• Track what happens to your visibility after a week of silence before deciding whether it is worth paying for
• Sanity-check whether the same faces cycle back the next day against what the marketing page claims
• Track how the feed changes when you narrow the age range and write the answer down
• Compare whether last-active timestamps look plausible before deciding whether it is worth paying for

That's the short version on dating sites — happy to be argued with.

Blunt answer: dating sites did roughly what I expected, no more. My rule with dating sites: whether conversations actually go anywhere in practice first, everything else second.

What nobody mentions about dating sites is whether the activity is real or recycled.

That's been my experience with dating sites; ask if you want the detail.

Honest take: dating sites is fine if you go in with low expectations. If you're evaluating dating sites, start with whether there are enough people to bother — everything else follows. Worth a look at the Flamedate community if you want a second data point.

That's what six weeks of dating sites taught me, for whatever that's worth.