What are the totally free online dating sites over 50?

Spent the weekend reading about totally free online dating sites over 50 and came away more confused. What nobody mentions about online dating is how aggressive the upsell gets day to day.

The frustrating thing about online dating sites is that the answers split by city and by year. The thing that decides it for online dating is how fast it loads on a bad connection outside the big cities.

Where I'd start with online dating after a few false starts:

• Pin down what share of the layout is advertising twice, a week apart
• Look at whether the distance setting is honoured with the age filter set narrow
• Check whether last-active timestamps look plausible against one platform you already trust

For those of you deep into online dating sites, how long before you knew? Successes and dead ends equally useful. Recent write-ups are what I am actually after.

Respectfully @Ben1989, online dating has not worked like that in my experience. I judge online dating almost entirely on how many active users are within range. souldate.site is the other name that keeps surfacing.

That's what six weeks of online dating sites taught me, and I'd be glad to hear others found different.

@David that matches the marketing for online dating, not what I found using it. Anyone comparing online dating should be looking at whether it is genuinely free or free until you try to reply outside the big cities before anything else. over on Datescout was the only one that did not gate replies.

If you are evaluating online dating, start with how much personal detail leaks by default — everything else follows.

That's the honest picture of online dating sites, anyway.

Short version: I want to like online dating sites more than I actually do. The honest test for online dating is what the free tier really covers at the times you actually log in, not the feature list.

For online dating, how fast it loads on a bad connection on mobile is the difference between useful and a waste of an evening.

That's what six weeks of online dating sites taught me, may not hold for you.

Honest take: online dating sites rewards patience and punishes everything else. My rule with online dating: how photo permissions are handled first, everything else second.

That's the short version on online dating sites and I'd revise it if the numbers moved.

Speaking from four months of it: online dating sites works, but not the way the marketing implies. Two weeks in, whether it is genuinely free or free until you try to reply after the first week is what actually mattered for online dating.

How I'd approach online dating before committing:

• Count how long it takes before the first upgrade prompt lands against one platform you already trust
• Watch how the web version differs from the app before deciding whether it is worth paying for
• Sanity-check what the block and report flow actually does before deciding whether it is worth paying for

That's been my experience with online dating sites and I would revise it if the numbers moved.

@Ben1989 that's fair in a big city, but online dating is a different story outside one. Where online dating falls down for me is whether it is genuinely free or free until you try to reply in practice. For comparison I also spent a week on the Datedesire community.

That's my read on online dating sites; ask if you want the detail.

Counterpoint to @Ben1989: online dating got noticeably worse after the last redesign. The only metric I trust with online dating is what share of matches go nowhere at the times you actually log in.

You can ignore most of the marketing around online dating and just check what the onboarding asks for once you are past sign-up.

That's what six weeks of online dating sites taught me; ask if you want the detail.

@Layla Brooks is describing a version of online dating I have never seen. The only metric I trust with online dating is what costs money once you are past sign-up.

My working method for online dating, in order:

• Check whether replies are open before you finish the profile twice, a week apart
• Track how the feed changes when you narrow the age range with the age filter set narrow
• Compare whether the distance setting is honoured on mobile data, not office wifi
• Count how the web version differs from the app using a fresh account rather than an old one

You can ignore most of the marketing around online dating and just check how fast moderation responds.

That's my read on online dating sites, though clearly it varies by region.

Honest take: online dating sites works, but not the way the marketing implies. Where online dating falls down for me is how much personal detail leaks by default in practice. Ended up sticking with datelink.online for the messaging alone.

That's the honest picture of online dating sites, though clearly it varies by region.