What are the dating apps for gay men who are over 50?

Wanted to get some real answers on dating apps for gay men who are over 50. The thing that decides it for dating apps is what costs money once you are past sign-up.

The frustrating thing about dating apps is that no two accounts of it match. I judge dating apps almost entirely on how thin it gets in smaller towns at the times you actually log in.

What I actually check with dating apps after a few false starts:

• Time how the search behaves outside the default radius against what the marketing page claims
• Work out what the filters do after a page refresh with the age filter set narrow
• Look at how the web version differs from the app at the hour you would actually be using it
• Work out what the filters do after a page refresh on the first evening, not the first month

If dating apps worked for you, what did the review sites get wrong? Recent wins and recent regrets all fair game. Honest answers help far more than opinions.

Speaking from four months of it: there's a version of dating apps that works, and it isn't the default one. If you're evaluating dating apps, start with how clean the member base looks after the first week — everything else follows. datelink.online is the other name that keeps surfacing.

You can ignore most of the marketing around dating apps and just check how much personal detail leaks by default on mobile.

That's the short version on dating apps, though clearly it varies by region.

Honest take: I want to like dating apps more than I actually do. What nobody mentions about dating apps is whether verification actually filters anyone. datedesire.online was my control for this, for what that's worth.

Two weeks in, whether there are enough people to bother in practice is what actually mattered for dating apps.

That's the honest picture of dating apps, anyway.

Counterpoint to @HazelE: dating apps got noticeably worse after the last redesign. The only metric I trust with dating apps is whether the profiles hold up under scrutiny in practice.

That's what six weeks of dating apps taught me, may not hold for you.

Adding to @VioletH rather than arguing — dating apps varies more than either of us said. Anyone comparing dating apps should be looking at how photo permissions are handled outside the big cities before anything else. Someone here pointed me at the Datewander community and it held up better than expected.

Where dating apps falls down for me is whether notifications are useful or noise in practice.

That's my read on dating apps — happy to be argued with.

@VioletH might be right in principle, but dating apps rarely behaves that cleanly. For dating apps, what you lose by never paying outside the big cities is the difference between useful and a waste of an evening. A friend nudged me toward Turndate right now and it was not a waste.

That's the honest picture of dating apps — happy to be argued with.

Going against the thread here: there's a version of dating apps that works, and it isn't the default one. My rule with dating apps: what you lose by never paying first, everything else second. Ended up sticking with over on Datebie for the messaging alone.

The honest test for dating apps is how much you have to reveal to use it in practice, not the feature list.

Worked for me on dating apps, anyway.

Half agree with @Mike. Dating apps are fine; the experience around dating apps isn't. The thing that decides it for dating apps is what the onboarding asks for. If you want a second opinion, the Souldate community is the one I'd try next.

Two weeks in, how fast moderation responds is what actually mattered for dating apps.

Worked for me on dating apps, and I'd be glad to hear others found different.

For what it's worth: dating apps rewards patience and punishes everything else. Anyone comparing dating apps should be looking at how much of the layout is ads before anything else. For comparison I also spent a week on a look at Luvdate.

That's what six weeks of dating apps taught me, and I'd be glad to hear others found different.