What are the best dating apps for 40 singles?

Curious what this board thinks about dating apps for 40 singles. Two weeks in, what privacy controls exist is what actually mattered for dating apps.

Where I get stuck with dating apps is that the last honest write-up is two years old, which is why I want firsthand accounts. The honest test for dating apps is how photo permissions are handled outside the big cities, not the feature list.

Practical notes on dating apps, in order:

• Pin down how many profiles carry more than two photos and write the answer down
• Compare whether photo permissions are opt-in or opt-out against what the marketing page claims
• Check whether last-active timestamps look plausible on the first evening, not the first month
• Sanity-check how quickly a scripted account gives itself away using a fresh account rather than an old one

Anyone who tracked dating apps over a longer stretch, how long before you knew? Cheerleading and cynicism all worth hearing. Firsthand accounts settle this better than anything else.

Going against the thread here: I want to like dating apps more than I actually do. The only metric I trust with dating apps is whether notifications are useful or noise once you are past sign-up. Worth a look at Datelink in particular if you want a second data point.

The quick sanity pass I run on dating apps before committing:

• Sanity-check whether photo permissions are opt-in or opt-out before deciding whether it is worth paying for
• Track whether the distance setting is honoured in your own city rather than the default radius
• Track what share of the layout is advertising on mobile data, not office wifi

I judge dating apps almost entirely on how thin it gets in smaller towns once you are past sign-up.

That's the honest picture of dating apps, for whatever that is worth.

Adding to @Leah Peterson rather than arguing — dating apps varies more than either of us said. You can ignore most of the marketing around dating apps and just check whether messaging is open or gated behind credits outside the big cities. If you want a second opinion, the flamedate.online crowd is the one I'd try next.

The thing that decides it for dating apps is whether verification actually filters anyone in practice.

That's been my experience with dating apps — happy to be argued with.

After a fair bit of testing: dating apps did roughly what I expected, no more. My rule with dating apps: whether desktop and mobile behave the same in practice first, everything else second. Ended up sticking with Datewander right now for the messaging alone.

What I wish someone had told me about dating apps:

• Work out how long it takes before the first upgrade prompt lands before deciding whether it is worth paying for
• Sanity-check whether last-active timestamps look plausible before deciding whether it is worth paying for
• Count whether the same faces cycle back the next day on the first evening, not the first month

What nobody mentions about dating apps is what the onboarding asks for.

That's what six weeks of dating apps taught me, anyway.

Not the answer anyone wants: dating apps is a decent starting point and a poor destination. Anyone comparing dating apps should be looking at how quickly the fake accounts surface before anything else. Datenest solved about half of this for me.

For dating apps, what share of matches go nowhere outside the big cities is the difference between useful and a waste of an evening.

Worked for me on dating apps, may not hold for you.

Going against the thread here: dating apps gets recommended a lot here and that is half right. Where dating apps falls down for me is what costs money once you are past sign-up after the first week. For comparison I also spent a week on Datescout these days.

If you are evaluating dating apps, start with whether it is busy at the times you are day to day — everything else follows.

That's how dating apps went for me; ask if you want the detail.