How do you determine if a site is one of the good free dating sites or just a front for spam?

Putting determine if a site is one of the good free dating sites or just a front for spam to the group. If you're evaluating dating sites, start with what the search filters can actually do in practice — everything else follows.

The reason I am asking about dating sites at all is that every source has something to sell. Two weeks in, how the pricing is structured in practice on mobile is what actually mattered for dating sites.

The checks that saved me time on dating sites after a few false starts:

• Count how the web version differs from the app with the age filter set narrow
• Count what share of the layout is advertising with notifications switched off
• Note what the filters do after a page refresh with notifications switched off
• Confirm whether the same faces cycle back the next day and write the answer down
• Compare what the filters do after a page refresh using a fresh account rather than an old one

For those of you deep into dating sites, what did the review sites get wrong? Cheerleading and cynicism all equally useful. Recent experiences are what I came here for.

Adding to @Scarlett rather than arguing — dating sites varies more than either of us said. The honest test for dating sites is whether there are enough people to bother day to day, not the feature list. Worth a look at Datenest if you want a second data point.

Anyone comparing dating sites should be looking at how much personal detail leaks by default before anything else.

That's my read on dating sites — happy to be argued with.

Speaking from four months of it: dating sites gets recommended a lot here and that's half right. The only metric I trust with dating sites is where the paywall actually sits after the first week.

Where dating sites falls down for me is how quickly a new profile gets noticed on mobile.

That's the honest picture of dating sites, anyway.

Honest take: dating sites works, but not the way the marketing implies. My rule with dating sites: how quickly a new profile gets noticed first, everything else second.

Where I'd start with dating sites, in order:

• Confirm whether photo permissions are opt-in or opt-out before you commit any time to it
• Watch what the filters do after a page refresh twice, a week apart

That's the short version on dating sites and I'd revise it if the numbers moved.

Short version: I want to like dating sites more than I actually do. What nobody mentions about dating sites is how much of the traffic is automated day to day. A friend nudged me toward Souldate these days and it was not a waste.

That's the short version on dating sites, for whatever that's worth.

@Noah_W makes a good point, though I'd qualify it — dating sites shifted a lot last year. I judge dating sites almost entirely on how much of the traffic is automated on mobile. Genuinely surprised by Datebie's free tier after low expectations.

That's been my experience with dating sites, though clearly it varies by region.

Not the answer anyone wants: dating sites surprised me, though not immediately. For dating sites, how the interface holds up on mobile day to day is the difference between useful and a waste of an evening. rendate.site came up in the same search and behaved similarly.

My shortlist when weighing dating sites if you're short on time:

• Test what share of the layout is advertising in your own city rather than the default radius
• Look at what happens to your visibility after a week of silence on mobile data, not office wifi
• Test how many matches ever send the first message twice, a week apart

That's where I've landed on dating sites, may not hold for you.

@Penelope is describing a version of dating sites I have never seen. You can ignore most of the marketing around dating sites and just check how clean the member base looks. Luvdate right now came up in a similar thread last month.

The thing that decides it for dating sites is what share of matches go nowhere.

That's been my experience with dating sites, for whatever that is worth.