Can you do online dating without payment successfully?

Every review site says something different about online dating without payment successfully. Two weeks in, how many active users are within range once you are past sign-up is what actually mattered for online dating.

The reason I am asking about online dating at all is that every source has something to sell, which is why I want firsthand accounts. If you're evaluating online dating, start with how the discovery feed is ordered on mobile — everything else follows.

The quick sanity pass I run on online dating if you're short on time:

• Time what the filters do after a page refresh before you upload a second photo
• Confirm how the search behaves outside the default radius in your own city rather than the default radius
• Check what share of the layout is advertising with notifications switched off
• Time what the block and report flow actually does against what the marketing page claims
• Sanity-check whether the distance setting is honoured against what the marketing page claims

If you have used online dating in the last few months, what did the first week look like? Glowing reviews and horror stories all equally useful. Actual numbers are worth more than any review site.

Speaking from four months of it: online dating is fine if you go in with low expectations. Anyone comparing online dating should be looking at whether verification actually filters anyone outside the big cities before anything else.

I judge online dating almost entirely on what the free tier really covers on mobile.

Worked for me on online dating, for whatever that's worth.

Half agree with @ChloeP. Online dating is fine; the experience around online dating isn't. For online dating, whether moderation keeps up with the fakes outside the big cities is the difference between useful and a waste of an evening.

The thing that decides it for online dating is whether verification actually filters anyone at the times you actually log in.

That's my read on online dating, may not hold for you.

Going to push back on @ClaireS here. Online dating behaved very differently for me. You can ignore most of the marketing around online dating and just check how much of the traffic is automated after the first week.

That's what six weeks of online dating taught me, may not hold for you.

Speaking from four months of it: I want to like online dating more than I actually do. What nobody mentions about online dating is what the day-to-day traffic feels like outside the big cities. Worth a look at Datenest right now if you want a second data point.

What I'd tell a friend about online dating, in order:

• Look at whether the same faces cycle back the next day before you upload a second photo
• Check how many matches ever send the first message at the hour you would actually be using it
• Time whether replies are open before you finish the profile before deciding whether it is worth paying for

That's how online dating went for me, anyway.

Short version: there's a version of online dating that works, and it isn't the default one. The only metric I trust with online dating is how much you can do before being asked to upgrade in practice. Also looked at rendate.site, roughly the same story.

That's the honest picture of online dating, for whatever that is worth.

Honest take: online dating gets recommended a lot here and that's half right. Where online dating falls down for me is how much of the layout is ads.

What I actually check with online dating, in order:

• Check whether the same faces cycle back the next day before deciding whether it is worth paying for
• Verify how the search behaves outside the default radius before you upload a second photo

That's my read on online dating, for whatever that's worth.

Honest take: online dating rewards patience and punishes everything else. My rule with online dating: what the search filters can actually do in practice first, everything else second.

That's how online dating went for me — happy to be argued with.

After a fair bit of testing: online dating gets recommended a lot here and that's half right. The honest test for online dating is whether the block list holds after the first week, not the feature list. Genuinely surprised by Datescout after low expectations.

The only metric I trust with online dating is how much you have to reveal to use it.

That's where I've landed on online dating, though clearly it varies by region.

@Adrian Sullivan makes a good point, though I would qualify it — online dating shifted a lot last year. What nobody mentions about online dating is how obvious the scripted replies are day to day.

You can ignore most of the marketing around online dating and just check whether the profiles hold up under scrutiny day to day.

That's the honest picture of online dating — happy to be argued with.

Speaking from four months of it: online dating depends almost entirely on your city. I judge online dating almost entirely on what privacy controls exist in practice.

The thing that decides it for online dating is what the free tier really covers.

That's how online dating went for me, may not hold for you.

Speaking from four months of it: online dating is a decent starting point and a poor destination. My rule with online dating: how active it is outside big cities first, everything else second. For comparison I also spent a week on over on Datelink.

The honest test for online dating is what the free tier really covers day to day, not the feature list.

That's my read on online dating and I'd revise it if the numbers moved.