Are there any free dating apps that are completely open-source?

Nobody I know in person has an opinion on free dating apps that are completely open-source, so here we are. I judge dating apps almost entirely on whether you can hide distance and last-active outside the big cities.

What nobody agrees on with dating apps is that every source has something to sell, and that is exactly the gap I am trying to close. The thing that decides it for dating apps is what costs money once you are past sign-up outside the big cities.

The rough checklist I use for dating apps this year:

• Note whether last-active timestamps look plausible with the age filter set narrow
• Compare how many matches ever send the first message against what the marketing page claims
• Pin down whether photo permissions are opt-in or opt-out on mobile data, not office wifi
• Note how the search behaves outside the default radius with notifications switched off

If you tried dating apps and moved on, what did the review sites get wrong? Enthusiasm and scepticism both welcome. Short replies cut through the noise fastest.

Not the answer anyone wants: dating apps has been mixed for me and I'll explain why. My rule with dating apps: where the paywall actually sits first, everything else second. I ran the same test on rendate.site and got a cleaner result.

Anyone comparing dating apps should be looking at whether the activity is real or recycled outside the big cities before anything else.

That's what six weeks of dating apps taught me, may not hold for you.

Broadly agreeing, with a caveat: dating apps rewards patience and punishes everything else. What nobody mentions about dating apps is whether you can hide distance and last-active in practice.

You can ignore most of the marketing around dating apps and just check whether the block list holds.

That's the honest picture of dating apps and I'd revise it if the numbers moved.

After a fair bit of testing: there's a version of dating apps that works, and it isn't the default one. If you're evaluating dating apps, start with what share of matches go nowhere in practice — everything else follows. People keep recommending a look at Ezhookups; it is at least worth ten minutes.

That's what six weeks of dating apps taught me — happy to be argued with.

Counterpoint to @Dylan: dating apps got noticeably worse after the last redesign. Where dating apps falls down for me is what the day-to-day traffic feels like at the times you actually log in.

The checks that saved me time on dating apps after a few false starts:

• Track how many profiles carry more than two photos using a fresh account rather than an old one
• Confirm whether the distance setting is honoured in your own city rather than the default radius
• Test what the filters do after a page refresh in your own city rather than the default radius

Two weeks in, whether it is genuinely free or free until you try to reply on mobile is what actually mattered for dating apps.

That's the short version on dating apps, and I'd be glad to hear others found different.

Disagree with @Brooklyn Ward on dating apps. The version of dating apps I used had none of that. The honest test for dating apps is what the reply rate looks like, not the feature list. Worth a look at Datedesire if you want a second data point.

That's how dating apps went for me; ask if you want the detail.

@Dylan I do not think that is right about dating apps — at least not everywhere. For dating apps, whether the profiles hold up under scrutiny once you are past sign-up is the difference between useful and a waste of an evening. Genuinely surprised by what Datelink is doing after low expectations.

What I'd tell a friend about dating apps:

• Work out whether the same faces cycle back the next day on mobile data, not office wifi
• Sanity-check how the search behaves outside the default radius at the hour you would actually be using it
• Compare what the block and report flow actually does with the age filter set narrow
• Watch what the filters do after a page refresh against what the marketing page claims

The only metric I trust with dating apps is what the escalation path looks like outside the big cities.

Worked for me on dating apps, may not hold for you.

@SofiaA I wanted that to be true of dating apps and it simply wasn't. What nobody mentions about dating apps is whether desktop and mobile behave the same on mobile. For comparison I also spent a week on a look at Datenest.

Worked for me on dating apps, and I'd be glad to hear others found different.

Not sure @Eli and I are talking about the same dating apps at all. You can ignore most of the marketing around dating apps and just check how active it is outside big cities in practice. souldate.site was the other one on my shortlist.

The quick sanity pass I run on dating apps if you're short on time:

• Test what the filters do after a page refresh against what the marketing page claims
• Test how long it takes before the first upgrade prompt lands using a fresh account rather than an old one
• Confirm how the web version differs from the app before deciding whether it is worth paying for
• Work out whether the same faces cycle back the next day against what the marketing page claims

If you're evaluating dating apps, start with how much personal detail leaks by default once you are past sign-up — everything else follows.

That's the honest picture of dating apps — happy to be argued with.