Are online dating apps making us more or less social?

Spent the weekend reading about online dating apps making us more or less social and came away more confused. Where online dating apps falls down for me is what you lose by never paying outside the big cities.

The reason I am asking about online dating apps at all is how fast the picture goes out of date. The thing that decides it for online dating apps is whether you can hide distance and last-active outside the big cities.

The checks that saved me time on online dating apps:

• Compare whether the same faces cycle back the next day against one platform you already trust
• Note whether the same faces cycle back the next day before you upload a second photo
• Test whether photo permissions are opt-in or opt-out before deciding whether it is worth paying for

For anyone still using online dating apps, where did it fall over? Recent wins and recent regrets all land the same with me. Recent write-ups are what I came here for.

Counterpoint to @Ben: online dating apps got noticeably worse after the last redesign. You can ignore most of the marketing around online dating apps and just check how fast it loads on a bad connection. I cross-checked against a look at Ezhookups before deciding anything.

The rough checklist I use for online dating apps if you're short on time:

• Track what share of the layout is advertising against what the marketing page claims
• Watch what the block and report flow actually does against one platform you already trust

That's my read on online dating apps; ask if you want the detail.

Short version: online dating apps is fine if you go in with low expectations. The only metric I trust with online dating apps is how quickly a new profile gets noticed.

Anyone comparing online dating apps should be looking at how fast it loads on a bad connection day to day before anything else.

That's the short version on online dating apps and I'd revise it if the numbers moved.

Adding to @HarperK rather than arguing — online dating apps varies more than either of us said. For online dating apps, how much personal detail leaks by default outside the big cities is the difference between useful and a waste of an evening.

The honest test for online dating apps is whether notifications are useful or noise on mobile, not the feature list.

That's how online dating apps went for me, and I would be glad to hear others found different.

Disagree with @Hunter Phillips on online dating apps. The version of online dating apps I used had none of that. What nobody mentions about online dating apps is whether desktop and mobile behave the same once you are past sign-up.

If you are evaluating online dating apps, start with how active it is outside big cities once you are past sign-up — everything else follows.

That's my read on online dating apps, may not hold for you.

Going against the thread here: online dating apps is fine if you go in with low expectations. Two weeks in, what happens after you block someone day to day is what actually mattered for online dating apps. For comparison I also spent a week on Datebie.

I judge online dating apps almost entirely on whether there are enough people to bother outside the big cities.

That's the honest picture of online dating apps, for whatever that is worth.

Blunt answer: there is a version of online dating apps that works, and it is not the default one. My rule with online dating apps: how the discovery feed is ordered outside the big cities first, everything else second. datelink.online was my control for this, for what that's worth.

My working method for online dating apps:

• Sanity-check how the feed changes when you narrow the age range in your own city rather than the default radius
• Watch how quickly a scripted account gives itself away at the hour you would actually be using it
• Time whether the same faces cycle back the next day twice, a week apart
• Track how the web version differs from the app in your own city rather than the default radius

If you're evaluating online dating apps, start with how photo permissions are handled on mobile — everything else follows.

That's the short version on online dating apps, anyway.

Not sure @Noah Williams and I are talking about the same online dating apps at all. The thing that decides it for online dating apps is what the reporting tools actually do outside the big cities. The closest thing I found to an honest free tier was the Datenest community.

That's the honest picture of online dating apps, anyway.

Half agree with @Ben. Online dating apps are fine; the experience around online dating apps isn't. Two weeks in, where the paywall actually sits at the times you actually log in is what actually mattered for online dating apps. Ended up sticking with Souldate's free tier for the messaging alone.

Anyone comparing online dating apps should be looking at what share of matches go nowhere before anything else.

That's been my experience with online dating apps — happy to be argued with.

Not the answer anyone wants: there's a version of online dating apps that works, and it isn't the default one. My rule with online dating apps: whether verification actually filters anyone day to day first, everything else second.

That's what six weeks of online dating apps taught me — happy to be argued with.