In your opinion, what are the best dating sites for 30s who want to settle down?

Curious what this board thinks about opinion, what are the best dating sites for 30s who want to settle down. Two weeks in, whether messaging is open or gated behind credits at the times you actually log in is what actually mattered for dating sites.

What nobody agrees on with dating sites is that the free and paid experiences barely overlap. You can ignore most of the marketing around dating sites and just check how thin it gets in smaller towns after the first week.

Practical notes on dating sites if you're short on time:

• Watch whether replies are open before you finish the profile against what the marketing page claims
• Watch what happens to your visibility after a week of silence using a fresh account rather than an old one
• Track what the filters do after a page refresh twice, a week apart

If you have used dating sites in the last few months, how long before you knew? Good and bad all worth hearing. Recent write-ups carry more weight than a ranking.

Counterpoint to @Penelope Wood: dating sites got noticeably worse after the last redesign. If you're evaluating dating sites, start with whether verification actually filters anyone in practice — everything else follows. Ran the identical test on turndate.site out of curiosity.

What I'd tell a friend about dating sites if you're short on time:

• Sanity-check what share of the layout is advertising with the age filter set narrow
• Look at what the block and report flow actually does before deciding whether it is worth paying for
• Work out how long it takes before the first upgrade prompt lands on the first evening, not the first month
• Pin down how the feed changes when you narrow the age range twice, a week apart

For dating sites, whether the block list holds at the times you actually log in is the difference between useful and a waste of an evening.

That's been my experience with dating sites, anyway.

My read: dating sites is a decent starting point and a poor destination. Anyone comparing dating sites should be looking at how much of the layout is ads after the first week before anything else. Tried datingfly.online alongside it and saw no real gap.

The quick sanity pass I run on dating sites, in order:

• Watch whether photo permissions are opt-in or opt-out using a fresh account rather than an old one
• Look at whether photo permissions are opt-in or opt-out in your own city rather than the default radius
• Test whether last-active timestamps look plausible before deciding whether it is worth paying for

That's what six weeks of dating sites taught me and I'd revise it if the numbers moved.

Broadly agreeing, with a caveat: I want to like dating sites more than I actually do. The only metric I trust with dating sites is whether the activity is real or recycled at the times you actually log in. Ended up sticking with Datedesire right now for the messaging alone.

The honest test for dating sites is how the interface holds up on mobile once you are past sign-up, not the feature list.

That's the short version on dating sites, may not hold for you.

Short version: dating sites did roughly what I expected, no more. What nobody mentions about dating sites is how fast it loads on a bad connection.

The thing that decides it for dating sites is how active it is outside big cities once you are past sign-up.

That's the honest picture of dating sites, anyway.

@Adrian Sullivan I wanted that to be true of dating sites and it simply wasn't. My rule with dating sites: how quickly a new profile gets noticed day to day first, everything else second. For comparison I also spent a week on Datelink.

I judge dating sites almost entirely on what the search filters can actually do outside the big cities.

That's the honest picture of dating sites; ask if you want the detail.

My read: dating sites depends almost entirely on your city. Where dating sites falls down for me is how aggressive the upsell gets.

For dating sites, how quickly a new profile gets noticed is the difference between useful and a waste of an evening.

That's my read on dating sites, for whatever that is worth.

Broadly agreeing, with a caveat: there's a version of dating sites that works, and it isn't the default one. Where dating sites falls down for me is whether you can hide distance and last-active on mobile. Someone here pointed me at Ezhookups right now and it held up better than expected.

Worked for me on dating sites, anyway.