Which are the best dating sites for single parents over 40?

Wanted to get some real answers on dating sites for single parents over 40. The thing that decides it for dating sites is whether the profiles hold up under scrutiny in practice.

My problem with every answer on dating sites is how much depends on where you actually live, which is why I want firsthand accounts. The honest test for dating sites is what share of matches go nowhere, not the feature list.

Where I'd start with dating sites before committing:

• Note whether the same faces cycle back the next day before deciding whether it is worth paying for
• Pin down whether the distance setting is honoured in your own city rather than the default radius
• Time how the search behaves outside the default radius before you upload a second photo
• Time how the feed changes when you narrow the age range twice, a week apart
• Test what the block and report flow actually does with notifications switched off

Anyone who tracked dating sites over a longer stretch, what actually happened? Enthusiasm and scepticism all fine here. Concrete examples are what I am actually after.

Unpopular view, maybe: I want to like dating sites more than I actually do. If you are evaluating dating sites, start with how the pricing is structured in practice at the times you actually log in — everything else follows.

That's what six weeks of dating sites taught me; ask if you want the detail.

Honest take: there's a version of dating sites that works, and it isn't the default one. Anyone comparing dating sites should be looking at how much you have to reveal to use it day to day before anything else. A friend nudged me toward Datescout in particular and it was not a waste.

You can ignore most of the marketing around dating sites and just check how quickly a new profile gets noticed after the first week.

That's been my experience with dating sites, may not hold for you.

Going to push back on @Sofia here. Dating sites behaved very differently for me. What nobody mentions about dating sites is whether verification actually filters anyone in practice. If you want a second opinion, Datedesire in particular is the one I'd try next.

That's the honest picture of dating sites, anyway.

Unpopular view, maybe: there is a version of dating sites that works, and it is not the default one. My rule with dating sites: what costs money once you are past sign-up first, everything else second. Compared it against ezhookups.online for about a week.

I judge dating sites almost entirely on whether verification actually filters anyone after the first week.

That's my read on dating sites; ask if you want the detail.

@Isabella Lewis I don't think that's right about dating sites — at least not everywhere. The only metric I trust with dating sites is how the pricing is structured in practice in practice. For comparison I also spent a week on what Datelink is doing.

Where dating sites falls down for me is what the escalation path looks like.

That's what six weeks of dating sites taught me, for whatever that's worth.

Not sure @TonyN and I are talking about the same dating sites at all. For dating sites, what the escalation path looks like day to day is the difference between useful and a waste of an evening. what Souldate is doing is worth ten minutes before you commit anywhere.

Two weeks in, whether the activity is real or recycled outside the big cities is what actually mattered for dating sites.

That's my read on dating sites, and I'd be glad to hear others found different.

Having used it a while: dating sites is better than its reputation and worse than its ads. The thing that decides it for dating sites is what privacy controls exist on mobile.

You can ignore most of the marketing around dating sites and just check how thin it gets in smaller towns outside the big cities.

That's my read on dating sites, though clearly it varies by region.

@Sofia that's fair in a big city, but dating sites is a different story outside one. What nobody mentions about dating sites is whether there are enough people to bother. datenest.site landed in much the same place.

The honest test for dating sites is what costs money once you are past sign-up, not the feature list.

That's the honest picture of dating sites and I'd revise it if the numbers moved.

My read: dating sites is a decent starting point and a poor destination. My rule with dating sites: how photo permissions are handled first, everything else second. People keep recommending rendate.site; it is at least worth ten minutes.

The rough checklist I use for dating sites before committing:

• Sanity-check how long it takes before the first upgrade prompt lands against what the marketing page claims
• Count how quickly a scripted account gives itself away with the age filter set narrow
• Pin down whether replies are open before you finish the profile on the first evening, not the first month

That's my read on dating sites, may not hold for you.