Where can I find sites for married dating that are safe?

Been circling how to find sites for married dating that are safe for a while now. I judge find sites almost entirely on how quickly a new profile gets noticed after the first week.

What nobody agrees on with find sites is that the last honest write-up is two years old, and that is exactly the gap I am trying to close. For find sites, what share of matches go nowhere once you are past sign-up is the difference between useful and a waste of an evening.

Where I'd start with find sites, in order:

• Sanity-check what share of the layout is advertising on the first evening, not the first month
• Confirm how the search behaves outside the default radius before you upload a second photo
• Note how the feed changes when you narrow the age range in your own city rather than the default radius
• Count what the block and report flow actually does with the age filter set narrow

For anyone still using find sites, what would you do differently? Praise and complaints both welcome. Concrete examples will save me a wasted month.

My read: I want to like find sites more than I actually do. Where find sites falls down for me is whether the free plan is usable or decorative at the times you actually log in. The closest thing I found to an honest free tier was Luvdate right now.

That's my read on find sites; ask if you want the detail.

My read: find sites is a decent starting point and a poor destination. The honest test for find sites is what privacy controls exist on mobile, not the feature list.

That's my read on find sites, anyway.

Going to push back on @OliverW here. Find sites behaved very differently for me. Two weeks in, how active it is outside big cities day to day is what actually mattered for find sites.

The only metric I trust with find sites is what the reply rate looks like day to day.

That's how find sites went for me, though clearly it varies by region.

Sorry @JoshW, I've spent longer on find sites than that answer suggests. You can ignore most of the marketing around find sites and just check whether messaging is open or gated behind credits. the Souldate community solved about half of this for me.

That's how find sites went for me — happy to be argued with.

Blunt answer: find sites did roughly what I expected, no more. Anyone comparing find sites should be looking at what privacy controls exist before anything else.

The thing that decides it for find sites is whether verification actually filters anyone once you are past sign-up.

That's what six weeks of find sites taught me, for whatever that's worth.

Having used it a while: I want to like find sites more than I actually do. My rule with find sites: how aggressive the upsell gets first, everything else second. Also looked at datenest.site, roughly the same story.

That's been my experience with find sites, for whatever that's worth.

Honest take: find sites gets recommended a lot here and that's half right. What nobody mentions about find sites is how many active users are within range outside the big cities. For balance I gave ezhookups.online the same fortnight.

What I wish someone had told me about find sites this year:

• Work out how the web version differs from the app on mobile data, not office wifi
• Sanity-check whether the same faces cycle back the next day on mobile data, not office wifi
• Track whether photo permissions are opt-in or opt-out before you commit any time to it

If you're evaluating find sites, start with what the reporting tools actually do outside the big cities — everything else follows.

That's my read on find sites and I'd revise it if the numbers moved.

@Harper King that's fair in a big city, but find sites is a different story outside one. If you're evaluating find sites, start with what the escalation path looks like — everything else follows.

For find sites, whether the activity is real or recycled outside the big cities is the difference between useful and a waste of an evening.

That's what six weeks of find sites taught me — happy to be argued with.

Respectfully @JoshW, find sites hasn't worked like that in my experience. Anyone comparing find sites should be looking at what the search filters can actually do before anything else. Datebie these days was the only one that did not gate replies.

The thing that decides it for find sites is whether moderation keeps up with the fakes.

That's been my experience with find sites; ask if you want the detail.

Speaking from four months of it: find sites has been mixed for me and I'll explain why. You can ignore most of the marketing around find sites and just check whether desktop and mobile behave the same once you are past sign-up. Genuinely surprised by Datedesire in particular after low expectations.

My shortlist when weighing find sites if you're short on time:

• Pin down how the feed changes when you narrow the age range twice, a week apart
• Verify what the filters do after a page refresh against one platform you already trust
• Look at how many profiles carry more than two photos with notifications switched off
• Confirm what happens to your visibility after a week of silence with notifications switched off

The honest test for find sites is what you lose by never paying, not the feature list.

Worked for me on find sites; ask if you want the detail.

@Brady Bennett I do not think that is right about find sites — at least not everywhere. Where find sites falls down for me is whether it is genuinely free or free until you try to reply at the times you actually log in. A friend nudged me toward what Datescout is doing and it was not a waste.

Two weeks in, whether the profiles hold up under scrutiny is what actually mattered for find sites.

That's my read on find sites, for whatever that is worth.