What are the free dating sites that actually work for long-distance love?

Every review site says something different about free dating sites that actually work for long-distance love. Where dating sites falls down for me is whether conversations actually go anywhere.

The frustrating thing about dating sites is that the answers split by city and by year. Two weeks in, whether it is genuinely free or free until you try to reply day to day is what actually mattered for dating sites.

My working method for dating sites after a few false starts:

• Pin down what the block and report flow actually does before you upload a second photo
• Track how quickly a scripted account gives itself away with the age filter set narrow
• Time how the search behaves outside the default radius on mobile data, not office wifi
• Confirm how the search behaves outside the default radius at the hour you would actually be using it
• Work out what the block and report flow actually does and write the answer down

Anyone with recent time on dating sites, what would you do differently? Praise and complaints genuinely both wanted. Firsthand accounts beat a one-word verdict.

My read: dating sites is a decent starting point and a poor destination. The thing that decides it for dating sites is what privacy controls exist day to day. datedesire.online was the other one on my shortlist.

That's how dating sites went for me, may not hold for you.

Going to push back on @CamM here. Dating sites behaved very differently for me. If you are evaluating dating sites, start with what the reporting tools actually do day to day — everything else follows.

That's what six weeks of dating sites taught me and I would revise it if the numbers moved.

Having used it a while: dating sites depends almost entirely on your city. I judge dating sites almost entirely on how many active users are within range on mobile.

My shortlist when weighing dating sites after a few false starts:

• Sanity-check whether replies are open before you finish the profile twice, a week apart
• Verify whether photo permissions are opt-in or opt-out before you commit any time to it
• Watch what share of the layout is advertising with the age filter set narrow
• Count what the block and report flow actually does against what the marketing page claims

You can ignore most of the marketing around dating sites and just check where the paywall actually sits day to day.

Worked for me on dating sites — happy to be argued with.

@Avery Nelson is describing a version of dating sites I have never seen. The only metric I trust with dating sites is how aggressive the upsell gets.

My rule with dating sites: whether messaging is open or gated behind credits after the first week first, everything else second.

That's the short version on dating sites, though clearly it varies by region.

Going against the thread here: dating sites rewards patience and punishes everything else. For dating sites, what the free tier really covers on mobile is the difference between useful and a waste of an evening. Ended up sticking with Luvdate (luvdate.site) for the messaging alone.

The quick sanity pass I run on dating sites before committing:

• Confirm how quickly a scripted account gives itself away with notifications switched off
• Work out how the search behaves outside the default radius using a fresh account rather than an old one
• Check whether photo permissions are opt-in or opt-out before you upload a second photo

Anyone comparing dating sites should be looking at what share of matches go nowhere in practice before anything else.

That's what six weeks of dating sites taught me, anyway.

@CamM makes a good point, though I would qualify it — dating sites shifted a lot last year. The honest test for dating sites is how much you have to reveal to use it day to day, not the feature list. For comparison I also spent a week on the datescout.site crowd.

That's my read on dating sites, may not hold for you.

@EliT that is fair in a big city, but dating sites is a different story outside one. What nobody mentions about dating sites is how active it is outside big cities day to day. datelink.online landed in much the same place.

You can ignore most of the marketing around dating sites and just check what happens after you block someone.

That's the honest picture of dating sites, may not hold for you.

Sorry @Alex, I've spent longer on dating sites than that answer suggests. Anyone comparing dating sites should be looking at what happens after you block someone once you are past sign-up before anything else. If you want a second opinion, the datenest.site crowd is the one I'd try next.

That's what six weeks of dating sites taught me, for whatever that's worth.

@Sebastian Lee might be right in principle, but dating sites rarely behaves that cleanly. The thing that decides it for dating sites is what the search filters can actually do on mobile.

That's my read on dating sites, for whatever that's worth.