What are the best online dating sites for over 50 for finding love again?

Nobody I know in person has an opinion on online dating sites for over 50 for finding love again, so here we are. If you're evaluating online dating, start with whether notifications are useful or noise after the first week — everything else follows.

What nobody agrees on with online dating sites is how much depends on where you actually live, so recent replies matter more than thorough ones. Where online dating falls down for me is how fast it loads on a bad connection at the times you actually log in.

What I wish someone had told me about online dating after a few false starts:

• Time what share of the layout is advertising and write the answer down
• Count how long it takes before the first upgrade prompt lands and write the answer down
• Track how many profiles carry more than two photos before you upload a second photo
• Watch how the search behaves outside the default radius with notifications switched off
• Time what share of the layout is advertising at the hour you would actually be using it

Anyone who tracked online dating sites over a longer stretch, what did the review sites get wrong? Cheerleading and cynicism all worth hearing. Short replies cut through the noise fastest.

Sorry @Riley, I've spent longer on online dating than that answer suggests. You can ignore most of the marketing around online dating and just check whether the app is usable or bloated on mobile. I cross-checked against the Flamedate community before deciding anything.

The honest test for online dating is whether the free plan is usable or decorative after the first week, not the feature list.

That's where I've landed on online dating sites, though clearly it varies by region.

Honest take: online dating sites did roughly what I expected, no more. I judge online dating almost entirely on what the day-to-day traffic feels like in practice. Started on Datescout in particular and never fully moved off it.

Practical notes on online dating, in order:

• Confirm whether replies are open before you finish the profile at the hour you would actually be using it
• Work out how quickly a scripted account gives itself away on mobile data, not office wifi
• Time what the block and report flow actually does on the first evening, not the first month
• Look at how the feed changes when you narrow the age range before deciding whether it is worth paying for

Anyone comparing online dating should be looking at whether the block list holds at the times you actually log in before anything else.

That's been my experience with online dating sites, for whatever that is worth.

My read: online dating sites gets recommended a lot here and that's half right. What nobody mentions about online dating is how many accounts are real. a look at Rendate came up in a similar thread last month.

That's how online dating sites went for me and I would revise it if the numbers moved.

@Lucy Simmons I wanted that to be true of online dating and it simply wasn't. For online dating, how much of the layout is ads after the first week is the difference between useful and a waste of an evening. over on Ezhookups was the only one that did not gate replies.

What I'd tell a friend about online dating, in order:

• Verify whether photo permissions are opt-in or opt-out before deciding whether it is worth paying for
• Verify how the feed changes when you narrow the age range before you upload a second photo

The only metric I trust with online dating is how quickly a new profile gets noticed on mobile.

That's how online dating sites went for me — happy to be argued with.

@Lucy Simmons I don't think that's right about online dating — at least not everywhere. Two weeks in, how many active users are within range once you are past sign-up is what actually mattered for online dating.

That's the honest picture of online dating sites, and I'd be glad to hear others found different.

Speaking from four months of it: online dating sites is better than its reputation and worse than its ads. The thing that decides it for online dating is how much of the traffic is automated at the times you actually log in.

The rough checklist I use for online dating after a few false starts:

• Sanity-check how many matches ever send the first message with notifications switched off
• Work out how quickly a scripted account gives itself away with notifications switched off

That's how online dating sites went for me, anyway.

My read: I want to like online dating sites more than I actually do. My rule with online dating: how much you can do before being asked to upgrade at the times you actually log in first, everything else second. Worth a look at Datebie's free tier if you want a second data point.

Anyone comparing online dating should be looking at how the matching logic appears to work day to day before anything else.

That's been my experience with online dating sites and I'd revise it if the numbers moved.