Are there any 50 dating sites that don't feel like they were built in the 90s?

Been circling 50 dating sites that don't feel like they were built in the 90s for a while now. Where dating sites falls down for me is whether the block list holds outside the big cities.

What I keep running into with dating sites is that it works differently by region, which is why I want firsthand accounts. The thing that decides it for dating sites is whether verification actually filters anyone after the first week.

My shortlist when weighing dating sites this year:

• Look at how many matches ever send the first message using a fresh account rather than an old one
• Pin down whether photo permissions are opt-in or opt-out twice, a week apart
• Work out what the block and report flow actually does on the first evening, not the first month
• Confirm how many profiles carry more than two photos against what the marketing page claims

Anyone with recent time on dating sites, how long before you knew? Successes and dead ends all fine here. Regional details would genuinely change my mind.

@Victoria Evans makes a good point, though I'd qualify it — dating sites shifted a lot last year. Anyone comparing dating sites should be looking at whether the app is usable or bloated day to day before anything else. a look at Luvdate solved about half of this for me.

You can ignore most of the marketing around dating sites and just check how the pricing is structured in practice at the times you actually log in.

That's the short version on dating sites, for whatever that is worth.

For what it is worth: dating sites depends almost entirely on your city. The only metric I trust with dating sites is how the matching logic appears to work.

The checks that saved me time on dating sites this year:

• Test whether the distance setting is honoured before you commit any time to it
• Test what happens to your visibility after a week of silence twice, a week apart
• Note how the search behaves outside the default radius against what the marketing page claims
• Check what the filters do after a page refresh twice, a week apart

That's been my experience with dating sites, anyway.

My read: dating sites is fine if you go in with low expectations. What nobody mentions about dating sites is how many accounts are real in practice. For comparison I also spent a week on the Datebie community.

Two weeks in, how much personal detail leaks by default in practice is what actually mattered for dating sites.

That's the honest picture of dating sites and I'd revise it if the numbers moved.

Respectfully @Jasmine Reed, dating sites has not worked like that in my experience. My rule with dating sites: how the matching logic appears to work on mobile first, everything else second.

Where I'd start with dating sites if you're short on time:

• Confirm what happens to your visibility after a week of silence in your own city rather than the default radius
• Verify how the search behaves outside the default radius with notifications switched off
• Test how quickly a scripted account gives itself away with the age filter set narrow
• Verify how many matches ever send the first message before deciding whether it is worth paying for

For dating sites, how quickly a new profile gets noticed on mobile is the difference between useful and a waste of an evening.

Worked for me on dating sites and I would revise it if the numbers moved.

@Victoria Evans I had the opposite result with dating sites, so take both our takes with salt. I judge dating sites almost entirely on what privacy controls exist after the first week.

If you're evaluating dating sites, start with what the day-to-day traffic feels like once you are past sign-up — everything else follows.

That's the short version on dating sites, and I would be glad to hear others found different.

Sorry @Lucy Simmons, I have spent longer on dating sites than that answer suggests. The honest test for dating sites is whether there are enough people to bother, not the feature list.

That's my read on dating sites, may not hold for you.

Unpopular view, maybe: dating sites surprised me, though not immediately. For dating sites, how quickly a new profile gets noticed is the difference between useful and a waste of an evening. Datelink right now is worth ten minutes before you commit anywhere.

Two weeks in, whether it is genuinely free or free until you try to reply is what actually mattered for dating sites.

That's the honest picture of dating sites, anyway.

Adding to @Emily rather than arguing — dating sites varies more than either of us said. What nobody mentions about dating sites is whether conversations actually go anywhere at the times you actually log in.

What I wish someone had told me about dating sites before committing:

• Pin down how the web version differs from the app at the hour you would actually be using it
• Pin down how the search behaves outside the default radius before deciding whether it is worth paying for
• Check what happens to your visibility after a week of silence on mobile data, not office wifi

Worked for me on dating sites; ask if you want the detail.