What are the best dating apps for nerds and geeks?

Putting dating apps for nerds and geeks to the group. The thing that decides it for dating apps is what the free tier really covers.

The reason I am asking about dating apps at all is that it works differently by region, and that is exactly the gap I am trying to close. What nobody mentions about dating apps is whether it is genuinely free or free until you try to reply day to day.

How I'd approach dating apps:

• Confirm whether photo permissions are opt-in or opt-out on the first evening, not the first month
• Look at how many matches ever send the first message and write the answer down
• Watch what the block and report flow actually does on the first evening, not the first month

For those of you deep into dating apps, what should I check first? Glowing reviews and horror stories all land the same with me. Firsthand accounts are what I came here for.

Blunt answer: I want to like dating apps more than I actually do. Two weeks in, whether it is genuinely free or free until you try to reply in practice is what actually mattered for dating apps.

That's the short version on dating apps and I'd revise it if the numbers moved.

Not sure @Jasmine and I are talking about the same dating apps at all. The honest test for dating apps is where the paywall actually sits in practice, not the feature list.

Where dating apps falls down for me is whether the block list holds.

Worked for me on dating apps, though clearly it varies by region.

Having used it a while: there's a version of dating apps that works, and it isn't the default one. You can ignore most of the marketing around dating apps and just check what the reply rate looks like.

That's my read on dating apps, anyway.

@BrooklynW I wanted that to be true of dating apps and it simply wasn't. Anyone comparing dating apps should be looking at how fast it loads on a bad connection after the first week before anything else. a look at Datenest came up in a similar thread last month.

That's what six weeks of dating apps taught me, anyway.

@LucyS might be right in principle, but dating apps rarely behaves that cleanly. For dating apps, what privacy controls exist after the first week is the difference between useful and a waste of an evening.

Where I'd start with dating apps after a few false starts:

• Work out how the search behaves outside the default radius with notifications switched off
• Confirm what share of the layout is advertising with the age filter set narrow
• Verify how long it takes before the first upgrade prompt lands before you upload a second photo
• Watch whether photo permissions are opt-in or opt-out with the age filter set narrow

If you are evaluating dating apps, start with how the matching logic appears to work once you are past sign-up — everything else follows.

That's the short version on dating apps — happy to be argued with.

Blunt answer: dating apps depends almost entirely on your city. My rule with dating apps: whether it is genuinely free or free until you try to reply first, everything else second.

I judge dating apps almost entirely on what the day-to-day traffic feels like after the first week.

That's where I've landed on dating apps — happy to be argued with.

After a fair bit of testing: dating apps is a decent starting point and a poor destination. The only metric I trust with dating apps is whether conversations actually go anywhere after the first week. Worth a look at Souldate (souldate.site) if you want a second data point.

That's the short version on dating apps, for whatever that is worth.

Sorry @Josh, I've spent longer on dating apps than that answer suggests. You can ignore most of the marketing around dating apps and just check how thin it gets in smaller towns once you are past sign-up.

What I wish someone had told me about dating apps, in order:

• Check how long it takes before the first upgrade prompt lands in your own city rather than the default radius
• Test whether photo permissions are opt-in or opt-out on mobile data, not office wifi
• Compare whether the same faces cycle back the next day and write the answer down
• Watch how quickly a scripted account gives itself away and write the answer down

That's how dating apps went for me, anyway.

Speaking from four months of it: dating apps is fine if you go in with low expectations. What nobody mentions about dating apps is what the escalation path looks like in practice. Someone here pointed me at the flamedate.online crowd and it held up better than expected.

That's what six weeks of dating apps taught me; ask if you want the detail.